Back to Life?

For quite some time my What’sApp – status said “I am not a human any more!…” which is now “Back to life!” . Not too many people noticed though and those who did, didn’t quite realized what it meant. Most of my close friends knows I was always “In-Human” anyways.  It is not new that I am an extreme workaholic and remain disconnected from friends and relatives quite often. And as always, clocks keep stretching as I come home.

Yet, this was still a very different time. There was a phase where everything I was doing was ‘in-human’. Being ‘in-human’ was about putting myself to un-natural course which even I didn’t knew why I am doing to myself.

A new endeavor

Sometime in last September – I just happened to connect to one of my colleague in sales. We begun working for an unusual assignment. It was one of a kind meeting even in my organization because being very upfront we knew all symptoms why such sales call would go no where. But the stature of this meeting was so high that it took about 25-30 days of back breaking work between two meetings. What begun from this was a completely different style of working. In a nutshell, we begun using heavy data in sales – and this data driven approach is what we used to call ‘Science-Sales’. As we continued, this created a new space for me altogether and soared my ambitions to new heights. Since I have been interacting with many top Marketing heads, this essentially led me to learn a completely new subject “Media Planning” and many aspects in Marketing.

Of course, we didn’t have to go too far to find critics and nor to find many who did praised but won’t personally want it- we were least bothered. I am sure, it would have created a new type of discomforts in the organization for a few; but nevertheless, this new beginning put me to course in several strategic aspects.

Getting pushed towards business side instead of tech isn’t completely new. Even when we were in Dizzy Research, one of my earlier venture, I was quickly pushed in dealing with business. The reason is very simple – many techies put themselves under the boundaries of tech-scope as their responsibility. Business may work or may not work – and start up always remains uncertain. When things don’t work as sweetly as we have in our wishful dreams, techies feel hopeless and often betrayed. But in true sense if we think that we want to bring technology to succeed, want to make sure it reaches every home, all techies must take ownership in the business side of technology adoption. That is the only way we can create things that work in real life and in turn we create freedom to do more creative stuff.

This wasn’t an outward only path,or some kind of exit, I was pursuing internally in the tech team new avenues and projects. First time, we have had “secret projects” with few team members; at least three of them. In the team, we are strictly open in terms of sharing all ideas, but this was the first time I wanted to generate surprise ideas. And then finally. suddenly something else struck very hard. We had to face audit as part of compliance level and we had really tough job of matching all transaction data with financials. This again was just an opportunity – this process helped us created a full fledged MIS barely out of XL sheets.

In last eight-ten months my timings of going back home was getting new records; sometimes later the crossing 12:00 am mark became a norm. So when I leave for office, my wife would greet me “see you tomorrow”.  It wasn’t just time consuming – it was uncertain in many aspects. Succeeding here, was also not a straight cakewalk. And above all, I knew – I am in not my territory of expertise at all.  And when you are not in your comfort zone- do you really upheld your common sense or listen to many? How do you really learn when you listen to too many opinions from so many people – often conflicting? It was tiring yet inspiring, uncertain but fulfilling .

And was it worth it? 

And was it even worth it? and what was I really wanted to achieve and prove? I didn’t really have any aspiration to change designation or raise in salary. And I am in no mood to go out from tech to business side. The management, of course, has given me appreciation in its own way – but for me it wasn’t started with any assigned work nor did it had any deadline or goal to achieve. It was pure exploration. Time and again, we find ourselves locked in systems and knowledge areas of our expertise. So I needed something really different to learn. It was clear that I needed to shake things up for myself – to learn something out of the way and stretch myself to a different horizons. I want to see – whether do I really have a purely internal force that can transform myself? Lot of times I hear about adapting, upgrading to new things – but can I really pull myself with real speed and excellence in an endeavor completely out from my comfort zone? Knowing that I can still go out an impress some of the top CMO’s of the country about media planning, and in the same breath can convince international auditors till the complete depth – and I can still read books with concentration while slogging for 18 hours a day – was some kind comforting… I was really didn’t want to be “Human” to limit myself, rather just wanted to see how far can I fly.

So why back to earth? 

Well, I did loose a lot of stuff – the family did got the least of the time. Many things got neglected – including friends. More than anything, perhaps my primary job itself was coming to the edge. BTW, finally, I lost my Ph.D. enrollment as well – but that was inevitable for sometime. I didn’t win – I didn’t loose – I learned. And when I was getting to good grip on this, we realized this shouldn’t be done to “end” but should now be a part of my sustainable life. So it all has to be streamlined. More importantly, I realized that I don’t quite have to slog just to prove anything. So here, I am back go life!

Last week, after so many weeks, when I came back home before my kid went to sleep it felt really good, and when the whole family created charts for his school project – it was a new fresh feeling.  And finally, I felt nice to get back to my blog.

Let’s see what future unfolds into…


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